Sunday, March 28, 2010

Electrified Parameter

Gabi na. Tahimik na ang buong bahay. Wala na akong ibang naririnig kundi ang ingay ng aircon naming mahigit dalawang taon ng hindi nalilinis. Gusto ko nang magpahinga ngunit ayaw pa rin akong dalawin ng antok. Marami akong naiisip. Marami akong naalala. Things of the past na dapat lang kalimutan.

Ilang beses ko nang tinatanong sa sarili ko kung bakit kailangan ko pang iisipin ang taong minsan ko nang minahal. Naglaho ngunit nagpakitang muli. Sa kanyang muling paglitaw baon ang bagong pag-asa - na dugtungan ang naudlot naming relasyon. Subalit, paano pa ako maniniwala na siya'y tuluyan ng nagbago? Paano niya maitutuwid ang mga pagkakamaling siya ang may akda? Paano ko malalaman na ang lahat ng mga sinasabi niya'y totoo?

Mahirap na'ng magtiwalang muli lalo na't minsan na akong nasaktan, nawasak, lumuha. Minahal ko siya noon ngunit hindi ko siya kayang mahalin ngayon. Hindi ibig sabihin na hindi ko siya pinatawad. Ayaw ko lang siyang mahaling muli dahil ayaw kong masaktan sa pangalawang pagkakataon.

Ngunit hanggang kailan kaya siya mawawala sa aking isipan kung hanggang ngayon siya pa rin ang laman nito?

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3 comments:

Xprosaic said...

Naku lilipas lang din yan... kala ko nga di ako nakamove on noon pero nung muli kaming nagkita... matagal na palang nawala yung nararamdaman ko...

Ruel said...

@Xp,
Sana nga..I want to be free..hehe

A-Z-3-L said...

mawawala lamang sya... kung gugustuhin mo. pero hangga't palagi mo syang patitirahin sa iyong isipan, hindi ka makakalimot kailanman!

humakbang ka... wag kag matakot humakbang. kaya mo yan kuya:)